Bonus! Part 5

It’s time for everyone’s favorite game! Go ahead, rank ‘em.

Esta Noche
Next 3
Sweden



Jacqueline
Det Betales
Poland



Gengsta Oro
Sleng
FYR Macedonia

#45

The Top 100 Songs You've (Probably) Never Heard – 2009

#45
U Look Good
Surferosa
Norway

Admittedly, this new-wave inspired number is one of my favorites from this year’s Norwegian selection. It’s the kind of song that if it came on the radio while you are sitting in your car, you’d crank the volume and sing along (and then feel really embarrassed when you see the quizzical looks coming from the passengers in the car next to you).

#46

The Top 100 Songs You've (Probably) Never Heard – 2009

#46
O Fată cu Părul de Aur
Slavici
Moldova

“O Fată cu Părul de Aur” (A girl with hair of gold) is a very relaxing song. Sometimes, that’s all you need.

#47

The Top 100 Songs You've (Probably) Never Heard – 2009

#47
Ride
Tine Wulff
Norway

Here’s a laid-back, folksy song to remind you to stay calm on this Black Friday.

#48

The Top 100 Songs You've (Probably) Never Heard – 2009

#48
Make My Day
Edijs Šnipke
Latvia

How appropriate that on a day when most Americans gather with their families to give thanks for what they have, we reach “Make My Day”, a song about the unimportance of money and the importance of family (or at least that’s what I’m attempting to stretch the song’s meaning to fit the holiday). Anyway, it’s educational, and it has that late 1990s college rock/ska sound which hearkens back to a time of great economic expansion.

#49

The Top 100 Songs You've (Probably) Never Heard – 2009

#49
Det' Det
Sukkerchok
Denmark

Malene, Kat, and Inez, who make up pop trio Sukkerchok, have already had 2 hits in their native Denmark off their debut album from earlier this year. “Det’ Det” is one of them. You can click here to see the other.

#50

The Top 100 Songs You've (Probably) Never Heard – 2009

#50
Chance to Love You
JuraTone feat. Lady B
Bulgaria

If you believe the annoying intro in this video, JuraTone is a famous Bulgarian guitarist. Fair enough. Is anyone else excited that we’ve reached the top half of this year’s list?



"Yeah, now that's how you do it, baby!"

#51

The Top 100 Songs You've (Probably) Never Heard – 2009

#51
Så Vill Stjärnorna
Molly Sandén
Sweden

“Så Vill Stjärnorna” is a pretty standard ballad about love that, with a lesser performer, would probably not have made this list.

#52

The Top 100 Songs You've (Probably) Never Heard – 2009

#52
Martian
Janita
Finland

“Martian” is a rather simple rock song that takes the I-like-to-pretend-I’m-not-from-this-planet-so-everything-I-experience-is-new-to-me prompt from a high school creative writing class and applies it to the lyrics.

#53

The Top 100 Songs You've (Probably) Never Heard – 2009

#53
Baby Goodbye
EMD
Sweden

So the lyrics are painfully tenuous (“The picture is drawn/You’re not even on/Because you’re gone”), but this is the kind of thing pop radio laps up.



For more dreadful forced rhyming, click here.

Bonus! Part 4-Supersized Edition

The Beauty Queens and Lowry have both competed in past Eurovision Song Contests, but they were not the only past participants to try to earn their way back to the Eurovision stage this year. Below are eight others who wanted another shot of European love. Can you rank them in order of how they would have appeared on this year’s countdown (if it were a top 600 list)?

Sakis Rouvas
Last Seen: 3rd place for Greece in 2004; Co-host of 2006
This Year: Represented Greece with This is Our Night; 7th place at Eurovision



Luiz Ejlli
Last Seen: Albania 2006; failed to qualify for final
This Year: "Nje Jete" with Juliana; Runner-up in Festivali I Këngës 47 (Albanian Selection)



Nico
Last Seen: Romania 2008; 20th place
This Year: "Disco Maniacs" with Moni-k; Failed to reach final of Romania's Selecţia Naţională



Laura Põldvere
Last Seen: Estonia 2005 as part of Suntribe; failed to qualify for final
This Year: "Destiny"; 3rd place in Eesti Laul (Estonian selection)



Mariana Popova
Last Seen: Bulgaria 2006; failed to qualify for final
This Year: "Crazy"; 3rd in the Bulgarian national selection



Omar Naber
Last Seen: Slovenia 2005; failed to qualify for final
This Year: "I Still Carry On"; Runner-up in EMA 2009 (Slovenian selection)

Feminnem
Last Seen: Bosnia & Herzegovina 2005; 14th place
This Year: "Poljupci u Boji"; 3rd place in Dora 2009 (Croatian selection)



Wenche Myhre
Last Seen: Germany 1968; 6th place
This Year: "Alt Har en Mening Nå"; failed to reach final of Melodi Grand Prix (Norwegian selection)

#54

The Top 100 Songs You've (Probably) Never Heard – 2009

#54
Superstar
Oskar & Beauty Queens feat. Đorđe Marjanović
Serbia

Oskar is a fictional character from a Serbian television program. The character, who is described as having “special needs”, is very controversial because of the offensive way in which he is presented. Ignore that part of the song. Instead focus on the chorus performed by the Beauty Queens, who also served as the backing vocalists in Serbia’s winning 2007 entry. If the song was only this, it would be very enjoyable, instead of the unfunny and insulting mess the verses force it to become.

#55

The Top 100 Songs You've (Probably) Never Heard – 2009

#55
Got No Love
Elektra
Iceland

Yet another song about the end of a relationship; 2009 must have been a sad year.
(The performance starts at 1:40, but if you’re interested in hearing “Tequila” played on the trumpet, you should watch the whole video.)

#56

The Top 100 Songs You've (Probably) Never Heard – 2009

#56
Et s'il fallait le faire
Patricia Kaas
France

Patricia Kaas is a famous French singer who has sold over 16 million albums worldwide. Her style is best described as a mix of chanson and jazz with pop elements.

#57

The Top 100 Songs You've (Probably) Never Heard – 2009

#57
Speakerbox
Signmark feat. Osmo Ikonen
Finland

Signmark is a deaf rapper who signs his lyrics. (The vocal parts are provided by others.) It’s an interesting setup for one of the most unique songs this year. Some might call this inspirational, but I think the point of this song is that we should stop thinking of deafness as a disability. That being the case, I guess this entry should read as follows:

#57
Speakerbox
Signmark feat. Osmo Ikonen
Finland

It’s a good song.

#58

The Top 100 Songs You've (Probably) Never Heard – 2009

#58
Tricky
Velvet Inc.
Norway

One of many good songs from a strong Norwegian final, “Tricky” sounds like something that would be at home on pop radio. The group Velvet Inc. were originally known by just Velvet, but changed their name to avoid confusion with another Velvet in Sweden.

#59

The Top 100 Songs You've (Probably) Never Heard – 2009

#59
You Ain't What I Need
Lowry
Estonia

Lowry was part of the group 2XL which served as the backing group of Estonia’s winning Eurovision entry in 2001. They later changed their name to Soul Militia and are responsible for this gem from a couple of years ago. Lowry has since gone on to have a solo career.

#60

The Top 100 Songs You've (Probably) Never Heard – 2009

#60
Manala
Tiara
Finland

“Manala” (Underworld) is a rock number performed by Tiara, who, if you believe people who post on YouTube, is a music teacher. You can also add her to the growing list of Nordic women you really don’t want to make angry.

Bonus! Part 3

By now, you know the drill. Can you tell me which song:
-just missed out on being in the top 100?
-requires the assistance of flying pigs to even be seriously considered for the list?
-falls somewhere in between?

Aven Romale
Gypsy.cz
Czech Republic



Soul Train
The Rebelettes
Norway



Što će mi ljubav
Ruswaj
Croatia

#61

The Top 100 Songs You've (Probably) Never Heard – 2009

#61
Hei! Exploadează!
Doina Gherman
Moldova

I wonder if everyone in Moldova has ADHD or if it’s only Doina and her housepainters.

Hei! Exploadeaza!

#62

The Top 100 Songs You've (Probably) Never Heard – 2009

#62
Zona Zero
Soni Malaj feat. Geti
Albania

This is a lot funnier than I remember it being.

#63

The Top 100 Songs You've (Probably) Never Heard – 2009

#63
Dagur Nýr
Heiða Ólafs
Iceland

“Dagur Nýr” (A New Day) is an atmospheric rock ballad with hints of a toned-down Heart sound. Iceland’s on a roll this year.

Dagur Nýr

#64

The Top 100 Songs You've (Probably) Never Heard – 2009

#64
Love, Love, Love
Agnes
Sweden

Agnes, who won the second series of Swedish Idol, has found success throughout Europe with her single “Release Me”. However, it’s her Melodifestivalen entry “Love, Love, Love” which is eligible for this chart, and personally, I think it’s the better song of the two.

#65

The Top 100 Songs You've (Probably) Never Heard – 2009

#65
Na čom záleží
Smola a Hrušky
Slovakia

Smola a Hrušky describe themselves as a ska-pop-punk band and say this song is about freedom and having a lust for life. That’s really all you need to know.

#66

The Top 100 Songs You've (Probably) Never Heard – 2009

#66
Alice in the Wonderland
Jimmy Jørgensen
Denmark

I don’t know why, but I actually like this song.

#67

The Top 100 Songs You've (Probably) Never Heard – 2009

#67
Just Get Out of My Life
Andrea Demirović
Montenegro

Yes, it’s a tad cheesy, but kudos to “rhyming” “dreams” with “scenes”. It’s a shame about the disco-ball-and-chain, though.

#68

The Top 100 Songs You've (Probably) Never Heard – 2009

#68
Üürnik
Köök ja Kaire Vilgats
Estonia

“Üürnik” (The Tenant) has some of the most interesting lyrics I’ve heard this year. The song is a dispute between a landlord and his tenant, who is a law student who apparently plays the keytar.

#69

The Top 100 Songs You've (Probably) Never Heard – 2009

#69
Kärlekssång från Mig
Markoolio
Sweden

“Kärlekssång från mig” is a love song about Markoolio not wanting to lose his credibility by singing some sappy love song. He tells his sweetheart to stop nagging because it would be difficult for people to stomach him performing an overly-sentimental ballad. The performance of this is also quite interesting. The staging parodies Russian singer Dima Bilan’s past Eurovision performances in 2006 and 2008.

#70

The Top 100 Songs You've (Probably) Never Heard – 2009

#70
Lucky Boy
Jeppe
Denmark

It may interest you to know that Jeppe was the “Senior” half of the group Junior Senior who, seven years ago, brought “Move Your Feet” into the world.

#71

The Top 100 Songs You've (Probably) Never Heard – 2009

#71
10,000 Light Years
Kwan
Finland

Fun Fact: A light year is a measure of distance, not time.