Bonus! 2011-Part 1

It’s the triumphant return of everyone’s favorite guessing game! In case your memory needs a refresher on how to play, here are the rules:
You will be given 3 songs from 2011 that did not make the Top 100. Your job is to identify (1) which one just missed out on being included in the upper 100, (2) which one is languishing somewhere in the 500s, and (3) which one falls somewhere in between. We’ll begin with an easy round.

For You
Natohé
Belgium

Natohé presents her case for a much needed dance scholarship.



Love Me Like Your Money
Kelly Schembri
Malta

Kelly makes a strong argument for an alternative use of Christmas lights.



Σαν άγγελος σ'αγάπησα (San Aggelos S'agapisa)
Χρίστος Μυλόρδος (Christos Mylordos)
Cyprus

Christos shares his thesis on “Representations of the Sperm and Egg in Modern Musical Performance” while wearing really heavy boots.

#87 (2011)

The 100 Greatest Songs You've (Probably) Never Heard – 2011

#87

Valss
Orelipoiss
Estonia

“Valss” is a fun, summery waltz that really showcases what Estonia does best: pleasant weirdness. You might recognize Orelipoiss (Jaan Pehk) from our countdown in 2009 as a member of Köök.

#88 (2011)

The 100 Greatest Songs You've (Probably) Never Heard – 2011

#88

Desperados
Pernilla Andersson
Sweden

Changing tack, our countdown moseys into the country/western side of the music world with “Desperados” by Pernilla Andersson, who also wrote the song. Over the past few years, there have been several hit songs that, like this one, have noticeably been influenced by mid-century country music. (Lily Allen’s “Not Fair” is an example.)

#89 (2011)

The 100 Greatest Songs You've (Probably) Never Heard – 2011

#89

Заместител (Zamestitel)
Лазар (Lazar Kisiov)
Bulgaria

“Zamestitel” (Substitute) is a song about heartbreak and trying to find something to fill the void in your heart following a breakup. That’s some pretty heavy stuff.

#90 (2011)

The 100 Greatest Songs You've (Probably) Never Heard – 2011

#90

טו דו דו (Tu du du)
Michael & Shimrit Greylsummer
Israel

The video speaks for itself.

Worst of...2011

Celebrate
Daria Kinzer
Croatia

Banal lyrics, hideous outfits, and a creepy magician/DJ/possible sex offender; it’s difficult to find even one thing Croatia did right with regards to their 2011 entry. I feel bad for poor Daria for being saddled with this monstrosity.

#91 (2011)

The 100 Greatest Songs You've (Probably) Never Heard – 2011

#91

Stotinama godina
Jacques Houdek
Croatia

There were slim pickings in Croatia this year. The final of Dora consisted of 3 songs, each performed by 2 different singers. “Stotinama godina” (For a Hundred Years) was by far the best, so naturally, it didn’t win.

#92 (2011)

The 100 Greatest Songs You've (Probably) Never Heard – 2011

#92

Emma
Christopher Brandt
Denmark

According to his official bio, Christopher was a professional ice hockey player for 11 years whose love of singing was rekindled while singing the Danish national anthem at a hockey tournament. “Emma” is a love song performed from the point-of-view of the singer. It seems Christopher had a little too much to drink last night and forgot to come home to Emma, whom he says he loves. The song is more or less a plea for forgiveness peppered with excuses and swearing.

#93 (2011)

The 100 Greatest Songs You've (Probably) Never Heard – 2011

#93

Tensão
Filipa Ruas
Portugal

“Tensão” (Tension) finished tied for fourth place (with five other songs) at the 2011 edition of Portugal’s Festival da Canção. In a year where the voting public and the professional jury largely disagreed, the people’s choice, the political protest chant “A Luta é Alegria”, nipped the win, and would go on to flop at Eurovision.

#94 (2011)

The 100 Greatest Songs You've (Probably) Never Heard – 2011

#94

Que me quiten lo bailao
Lucía Pérez
Spain

“Que me quiten lo bailao” is a Spanish expression that means something along the lines of “they can’t take away the fun I’ve had”. This is a good attitude for the Spanish to have, as this is their only song to make this list. To be fair, the main reason for this was the selection procedure, where most of the focus was on finding a singer. Several weeks were spent narrowing down 24 acts before 3 were selected to sing 3 new songs each in the final. Lucía Pérez eventually won with 68% of the vote. She would go on to finish 23rd at Eurovision.


If this doesn't add cheer to your Monday, you're dead inside.

#95 (2011)

The 100 Greatest Songs You've (Probably) Never Heard – 2011

#95

On Air
032
Bulgaria

“On Air”, which finished 7th in the Bulgarian selection, sounds like the kind of dance music one would expect to hear on European radio. This style of music has also popped up on American radio sporadically over the past few years. For some reason, this sounds very familiar…

#96 (2011)

The 100 Greatest Songs You've (Probably) Never Heard – 2011

#96

One More Day
Eldrine
Georgia

Rock band Eldrine extended Georgia’s string of successes at Eurovision, achieving a ninth place finish with their somewhat screechy track “One More Day”. The lyrics are a little muddled (“I wanna give it on fire”), but always entertaining (“I am lame, psycho from the brain.” is perhaps the best line). The video is one of those “look at the strange things that occur in an abandoned warehouse where we coincidentally happen to be shooting our video” kinds of videos, but…oooh, mimes!

#97 (2011)

The 100 Greatest Songs You've (Probably) Never Heard – 2011

#97

Run
Anders Fernette
Sweden

Here is a prime example of over-staging a song; i.e. adding too many performance elements that distract and detract from the song itself. If you cut the annoying background singers and the unnecessary aerial acrobatics, you’ll find the song is a very radio-friendly light rock number. Originally, Anders was going to perform a different song called “Don’t Stop” at Melodifestivalen, but the song was disqualified when it was discovered that a demo version of the song performed by JC Chasez (of *NSYNC fame) was published on MySpace earlier in the year. You can hear the demo by clicking here.

#98 (2011)

The 100 Greatest Songs You've (Probably) Never Heard – 2011

#98

Black and Blue
Kat & Justin Hopkins
Denmark

Katherine Thisted (a.k.a. Kat) is a Danish singer, DJ, and model who finished 3rd at the 2010 edition of Dansk Melodi Grand Prix (the Danish selection show) with the song “Come Come Run Away”. Justin is an American songwriter and singer who has enjoyed some minor success in Europe. He also co-wrote this song, a contemporary duet that has the potential to chart stateside. Unfortunately, videos of a live performance are impossible to find, so we’ll have to settle for this:

#99 (2011)

The 100 Greatest Songs You've (Probably) Never Heard – 2011

#99

This Love
Klinsmann & Ben
Malta

“This Love” is a pleasant little ditty that bounces along and sounds as if it would be right at home on contemporary radio. Klinsmann has competed in every Maltese national selection since 2007. His best result was a 3rd place finish in Malta Song for Europe-2007 with “She Gives Me Wings”, a far inferior song. “This Love” is Klinsmann’s best and most sophisticated entry to date; thus, it’s also his first appearance on our year-end list. “What about Ben?” you ask. Well, the only thing I know about him is what I learned from the brief introduction at the beginning of the video (which I won’t bother retyping because it’s right there for you to hear for yourself). Also, he suffers from severe neck chills.

Eurovision Lesson 1

After many months and much controversy (see here), Ukraine had finally selected the beautiful and talented Mika Newton to represent them at Eurovision. Unfortunately, the song was instantly forgettable. I’ve listened to “Angel” dozens of times and I still wouldn’t be able to sing/whistle/hum it for you if I were forced to at gunpoint. But, the Ukrainians are excellent at turning lemons into lemonade (even if the lemons were purchased from the back of some shady looking guy’s truck, left in a dark corner of your basement for years, and recently rediscovered covered in enough fuzzy mold to make it look like gerbils have invaded). That’s why “Angel” is the perfect song for the inaugural “Eurovision Lessons” series, where we will examine important things one should know if one wants to be successful at Eurovision.

Today, we’ll examine the importance of staging, i.e. the visual presentation of the song. Many entries throughout the years have tried to improve their chances of winning by adding a visual punch to the performance, with mixed results. Usually, this involves dated dance moves, surprise appearances by celebrities, puppets, or unusual props. “Angel” is by far the most successful application of this technique. Watch as the go-nowhere song is almost completely ignored in favor of the sand artist and her spellbinding use of…sand. By electing to focus on a novelty most have never seen, “Angel” was propelled from “lucky to qualify” to a respectable 4th place finish; an impressive result at a song contest for a song no one remembers.

Angel
Мiка Ньютон (Mika Newton)
Ukraine

#100 (2011)

The 100 Greatest Songs You've (Probably) Never Heard – 2011

#100

The Kukushka
Зла́та О́гневич (Zlata Ognevich)
Ukraine

Controversial national selections are quickly becoming the norm in Ukraine, and 2011 was no exception. After weeks of heats and semifinals (semifinals in which 7 of the eight acts proceeded to the final), Ukrainian audiences were finally treated to a final of 20 songs (well, 17 after disqualifications and withdrawals). “The Kukushka” finished in 2nd place after “Angel” by Mika Newton, and things were fine until rumors of fraudulent voting popped up. In an attempt to ensure fairness, a new final was scheduled with only the top 3 songs from the original competition allowed to compete, and new voting rules were established. However, Zlata and Jamala (the 3rd place act) withdrew from the competition, leaving only Mika Newton, who would go on to represent her country at Eurovision, albeit with a slightly altered version of her song (more on this later).

In case you were wondering, kukushka is Ukrainian for cuckoo. (Now it all makes sense!)

The 100 Greatest Songs You've (Probably) Never Heard – 2011

Back by popular demand! “The 100 Greatest Songs You've (Probably) Never Heard” is this blog’s flagship series, and, after a brief hiatus, everyone’s favorite countdown has returned. The 2011 Eurovision season was a great year filled with many memorable songs. Some were excellent, some were unique, and some were just plain terrible. Like past years, we will count down the top 100 Eurovision-related songs (songs that competed in the Eurovision Song Contest or competed to compete in the ESC) from 2011. Unlike the hundreds of other fan blogs (many of which are worth a visit), the songs in this list are ranked using a complex mathematical formula that examines a song’s quality and, most importantly, its potential for success in the US and Canada, but mostly the US.

Nearly 500 songs from 43 countries were eligible this year. Although the number of contributing territories is up from 39 in 2010, the pool of songs has shrunk. This is mainly due to scaled back selection procedures around the continent in an attempt by national broadcasters to save costs in a down economy. (Look for this trend to continue in 2012.) Fortunately, song quality did not take a hit, and I had no trouble finding 100 songs for this list. 36 nations placed at least one entry on the countdown-this ties the record set in 2008. Here are some of the story-lines to watch for as we plod along towards number one:

-Which 7 nations failed to place? (Some might surprise you.)
-Will Sweden continue its domination, or will it be usurped by one of its Nordic neighbors?
-Several nations had their best showing ever. Will their newfound success force perennial powers to only one entry, or maybe even off the list completely?
-Will Lena reign supreme for the second year running? (She does have 12 eligible entries.)

The answers to these questions await you over the next 2 months as we countdown The 100 Greatest Songs You’ve (Probably) Never Heard – 2011!